Love is not just an abstract concept of sentimental literature, love is a deep need for attachment. It is vitally important for a person to know that they are of great value to someone. The search for and maintenance of contact with meaningful others is an innate and main motivating factor in people. If the one to whom you are attached becomes emotionally inaccessible, you can start experiencing anxiety, fear, consternation, and alienation. All this, in turn, triggers dangerous cycles of interaction that destroy relationships. The emotional disconnection of partners is much more dangerous than their inability to negotiate during a conflict. In fact, every couple gets through quarrels, but while partners have an emotional connection, nothing serious will happen to their relationships.
Emotions, some joint experiences as well as an opportunity to share their secrets brings people closer and helps them feel each other on a new level as well as understand more deeply. To have a healthy and strong relationship, you need to create a "savings box” of shared moments. All this must be done at a stage when the natural attraction still lasts, and both partners have a connection at the physiological level.
What is an emotional connection?
According to attachment theory, an emotional connection is one of the forms of a relationship. The most common example might be the emotional connection that exists between a parent and a child. Other examples are the connections between romantic partners, friends, and family members.
A strong emotional connection is formed when the mother reacts to the needs of her kid. This connection is integrated with the child's personality and serves as the basis for all their future relationships. There are five main criteria of emotional connection.
- Emotional connection is permanent, not temporary.
- Emotional connection is focused on a specific person.
- Relationships, which are implied by emotional connection, are of great importance for the emotional sphere of a person.
- A person seeks to communicate with a person with whom they have an emotional connection.
- Forced parting with a partner leads to bad mood and total unhappiness.
By emotional connection, people mean the establishment of an inner attachment based on understanding and respect for the person, their interests, needs, and problems. If such a connection is not established, then the relationship cannot be called full-fledged.
What if there is no emotional connection?
If there is a lack of emotional connection in a relationship, then such ties are based on consumerism. Often, they are covered by self-deception, leaving the belief that everything is the way it has to be. Many people create whole theories to justify the consumer attitude toward others and even replicate them.
However, this superficial external well-being does not bring happiness. If a person does not understand the partner and ignores their interests, the latter one has a feeling that they are only a means to achieve certain goals or satisfy needs. Over time, such relationships bring a bitter disappointment in the moral qualities of the partner and destroy the desire to have an intimate relationship with them.
It is not superfluous to look at yourself and understand whether you have an inner willingness to give something to your partner. Are you ready to devote your time, attention to them, be responsive, sensitive as well as provide moral support, listen and show signs of love? If you are not ready, but you want to have a long-term and happy relationship, then you should deal with your needs and reorient yourself towards the interests of the partner. The desire to find a balance is affirmed in the human values system and becomes one of the main priorities in life for building a full-fledged relationship.
How important is an emotional connection in a relationship?
Talking about the whole range of human feelings, it’s possible to claim that emotion doesn’t have a material nature. An emotional connection or in other words, strengthening of the relationship between two people, is based on various subjective sensations and often remains undefined.
Everyone is potentially emotional and strives to share love, happiness, sadness and many other uncertain emotions with another person in the oral or physical component of the emotional connection.
If you are a little observant, then you know that a relationship without emotions is like a journey without a destination. Basically, this happens when two people of the opposite sex create relationships only to get some sexual pleasures. This might be simply called a compromise, which brings only disappointment in the end.
Signs of an emotional connection
People are looking for many things in a potential partner. However, few people attach importance to the emotional connection in marriage. Usually, people pay attention only to the appearance of a person, forgetting that over time, this attraction should be taken to the emotional level. Otherwise, any serious relationship will not work out. So, you should be aware of signs of an emotional connection to be able to assess your prospects. Here are 5 signs of an emotional connection between two people.1. You have the same sense of humor
In addition to appearance, a sense of humor is one of the first things that people pay attention to. And if you start laughing at the same jokes, this is already an obvious sign of emotional connection. You may say that laughter and jokes have no effect on the prospect of relationships, but you aren't serious, are you? The same sense of humor helps maintain optimism in difficult situations, which you can face in married life. It helps partners relax and feel more comfortable with each other, it brings together and strengthens the connection.2. You have the same values and views of the world
At the beginning of a relationship, few people talk about life values and beliefs. At first, even different opinions on this matter do not seem to be a problem when you fall in love. However, when everything becomes serious, and you start planning the future, you begin to see the issue in the differences of your values. These principles are a part of your personality, so it's important to have the same value system, especially when you have children and want to raise them in accordance with your worldview.3. You can talk about anything
One of the first signs of emotional connection with a woman is a care-free feeling when you are talking to this girl. You feel that you do not have forbidden topics, and you can afford to be weak and vulnerable with your partner. You are not afraid to look stupid or face judgment whatever you say.
This is especially true for guys because they don’t like to share secrets, but it's possible on dating sites like bebemur.com - totally free and private online dating. So, if you have met a woman with whom you can talk about everything, including your feelings, fears, hopes, and dreams, then you have an emotional connection in a relationship.4. You are never bored together
When you have a deep emotional connection with someone, you do not become bored with each other. You are always ready to listen to this person, appreciate what they say and try to understand, even if you disagree with something. If you have such an emotional connection, you will have a happy life together.5. You respect each other's opinion
When a woman respects the opinion of a partner and takes it into account, this is one of the signs of an emotional connection with a man. If she really appreciates his advice on serious issues, then she appreciates the emotional maturity of a person. Respect means that you agree to have different opinions. Yes, you are like-minded in the matter of life values, but you can have a different opinion in some other things. If you respect the point of view of each other, without trying to convince, this is an emotionally mature relationship.
Emotional connection vs physical connection
A physical connection is not always accompanied by emotional connection, and the latter one does not necessarily imply sex. However, emotional connection is an obligatory thing for getting the greatest pleasure. As you have already found out, an emotional connection means deep interpersonal relationships based on trust, empathy and mutual respect. Thanks to it, partners can touch the spiritual core of their essence and cease to be afraid that another person will see their Inner Self.
When people don’t have an emotional connection during sex, they can suffer from the feeling of alienation because one of the partners seeks greater intimacy in sexual relationships. One of them can say something like, "My partner believes that our relationship is great as it is, but it seems to me that it's time to change something." However, partners do not always take any steps to rebuild their relationship, continuing to live with no emotional connection in marriage.
Men and women have different needs and attitudes towards physical connection. A woman feels dissatisfied if she has sex exclusively at the physical level. Nonetheless, both partners want to have emotionally filled relationships. Since men and women often have different needs, it is important to find out what each of you is striving for. If you both want to enrich your physical connection, it will certainly happen. If one of the partners is changing, then the relationship changes as well. If a person realizes that they need more intimacy, it is necessary to involve the partner in the process of changing at once. Experiment, break bad. Remember that any changes can harm a relationship if there is no emotional connection, but if one of the partners starts this process, they must make sure that the second one feels safe. You should do your best to find a balance between physical and emotional connections to achieve a higher level of intimacy.
Sex and emotional connection
When people suffer from a lack of emotional connection, being in a committed relationship, this is a challenge, which should be met as soon as possible.
In ideal relationships, it is important to feel that an emotional connection with a partner harmoniously combines with a physical one. If you feel any disregard for your person, you often make a scandal and prefer not to communicate with each other, then you pull away. It is obvious that sex cannot be perfect in such conditions. Do you know how to create an emotional connection? First of all, you can try to turn on the "romantic" mode, give compliments and flowers as well as show your girlfriend in every possible way that she is the dearest person to you. When you care about your loved one, they take care of you in return, and a connection arises. As you see, it's not necessary to invent anything, everything is simple and trite in some ways.